Since I haven't had much of a chance to write over the past few weeks I thought I would add a piece here that I wrote in Feb 2010. It was originally posted as a note on facebook but I recently "re-discovered" it when a student of mine made a comment about it at school.
Enjoy
~DJ
You know, I have to admit that I'm not much on the blogging band wagon. I don't write them. I don't read them. I remember learning back in my high school AP Psych class about a phenomenon called the "Stranger on the Bus" in which people will unveil their entire life stories to a complete stranger and vowing that I wouldn't ever be that person. However, as I sit here tonight in the wake of both tragedy and inspiration I cannot help but throw at least one foot on the band wagon while desperately trying to drag the other through the dirt...
The 2009/2010 school year started with a sour, but all too familiar, taste. Tech lost a beloved student on labor day weekend, another student shortly after, and I lost a prior student shortly after that. In my short career in education I have seen 6 students buried too young...and all to senseless acts of street violence. It's all too easy to chalk it up to "those kids" or "you can't save them all" but I find it harder and harder to buy in to that mindset and find it easier and easier to believe that there is true change on the horizon for our young people.
It is true that I am rarely open about many emotions and hold them inside until they burst out in some sort of emotional storm, which unfortunately, usually comes in the unsightly form of anger. This is the first time that I have sat, wrote, and reflected about the students I have lost in the past.
It is no surprise that music of all kinds drives my life and speaks to me in a way that no other person, book, or blog can. For some reason, as cliche as it sounds, when I reflect on these losses the first thing that comes to mind is the song Changes by Tupac. Despite the street violence that the artist often wrote about, this song is truly a piece of art. In fact, the message is so deep that the Vatican has placed it among it's playlist on myspace.com; among songs of God, world peace, and deep, thought evoking pieces of orchestra.
But really...is that just the way it is? Will things never be the same? The song tells us "we ain't ready to see a black president" and here we are in 2010 defying those odds. What else can be accomplished with the simple message in the closing of the song? "It's time for us as a people to start making some changes. Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live, and let's change the way we treat each other. You see, the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do what we gotta do...to survive."
While I do feel I have the blessed opportunity to make a change each and every morning that my alarm clock goes off, I had the rare opportunity to really make a change this past week. I was fortunate enough to take 47 kids to the Sierra Mountains for a 3 day ski trip. Growing up in the midwest, I have forgotten that snow is a rare sight for so many of the students I work with. In fact, as I grew up snow was taken for granted...even became a nuisance.
At the end of each day all 47 students and 4 of my colleagues held a fake microphone to our mouths and told the rest of the group what our favorite part of the day was. There are 2 quotes that will stick with me for the rest of my life. On the first night as the flashlight microphone was passed it found its way into the hands of a very soft spoken asian boy. The words he spoke next will be my inspiration that gets me through until June. "My favorite part of today was seeing it snow for the first time." It is such a seemingly meaningless statement. But to a boy who was born in Asia and has struggled trying to find himself in the streets of Oakland, learn a new language and culture, and feels alone in a room full of people it was a statement he may have never made without the wonderful staff at Tech. How many of us have been privileged enough to see snow? How many of us never get excited anymore when we have to walk out in the morning to brush that snow off our cars? I later saw this young man laying in the middle of a run, goggles off, tongue out, lapping up every small flake that managed to find its way into his mouth. Breathtaking.
The next day I was on a lift with 2 of my fellow staff members and as we exited, a student (we'll call him George) turns around and yells "Ms. Sabella...I'm going all the way to the bottom. I'll see you guys later!" Now, mind you, it is hard to read the emotion in his voice but I am here to tell you that in that moment the senior in high school was suddenly reverted back to an earlier day in childhood. George, with his pants tucked inside his rental boots, goggles crooked on his black helmet, and unzipped coat looked like something of a cartoon...but the smile on his face, the excitement in his voice, and the confidence he carried as he went zooming down the mountain alone was a picture I will not soon forget.
I cannot begin to explain why these 2 events stuck with me so vividly. I'm sure I have heard many inspirational things since I first stepped foot into a school...but it was something about the hearing those words that made water well up in my eyes. Perhaps you understand, perhaps you don't...and perhaps if you are in education yourself it makes more sense to you.
I walked off the bus (albeit annoyed with children for the time being) with a sense of pride, accomplishment, and pure joy. Any of you who know me well know that I am very passionate about 3 things in my life. Family. Teaching urban youth. The outdoors. While I am certain that this trip quenched the thirst for 2 of the 3, I am not so sure it didn't, in part, create a larger family for me. I know that years down the road these students will be talking about the ski trip they took in high school. I know among those conversation my name will pop up and the members of that new found family will laugh, smile, and remember the group of teachers that made such an amazing trip possible for them. I know that I changed some lives this week. I know that this week I helped at least one child believe in him or herself. I know that my friendly words of encouragement helped somebody deal with an unfortunate circumstance that I knew nothing about. I know that I showed a kid that making a mistake is ok. I know that I showed a kid that laughing is the best way to go through life. I know that I showed them life is better when living it behind smiles.
I am inspired.
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